IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS IN IMMEDIATE DANGER CALL 999
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
The relationships that we have with other people form some of the most important parts of life. Any type of relationship can be tricky and it is normal for people to have different opinions and sometimes disagree, but no relationship should make you feel sad more than happy and you should never feel scared.
IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS IN IMMEDIATE DANGER CALL 999
UNDERSTANDING TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS
Relationships can be confusing because people are complicated, and when feelings are involved it's even harder to navigate. Most relationships have ups and downs, but sometimes someone who says they love you can also hurt you, emotionally, physically, or both.
At first, these relationships can seem perfect. The person might give you lots of attention, compliments, and affection which is called 'love bombing'. But over time, things start to change. They might start making small, mean comments disguised as 'banter' or saying it was a joke. They might put you down, control who you see, or make you feel guilty for spending time with others.
When they’re kind, it feels amazing, like you’re the most special person in the world. But those good moments start happening less and less, and the bad ones take over. You might start feeling unhappy, anxious, and alone, lose confidence and not even recognise yourself anymore.
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Leaving a relationship like this can be really hard. You might feel embarrassed, scared of what people will say, or worried no one will understand. But you don’t have to deal with it alone. Talk to someone you trust — a friend, teacher, family member, or support worker.
You deserve a relationship that makes you feel safe, respected, and valued!
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If you are not sure if the relationship is toxic then it probably is.
He didn’t hit me.
But he made me not wanna live anymore.
He didn’t hit me…
But he’d ask if I was eating “like that” on purpose.
He’d tell me, “You just ate,” if I wanted something else.
He told me he’d divorce me if I ever gained weight.
But no- he didn’t hit me.
He just took my car keys and hid them so I couldn’t leave.
He tried to shatter my phone so I couldn’t call for help.
He held me down, looked me in the eyes, and asked if I was going to “submit” to him.
He didn’t hit me.
But he scared me so badly I locked myself in the bathroom and slept there all night…
Then woke up, went to work, and acted like nothing happened.
He didn’t hit me.
But he had time for everyone and everything except me.
He told me he didn’t have time to pursue me.
He made me write down that I needed physical touch- and told me to note that I wanted him to touch my thigh when we sat together, because that was my love language.
He didn’t hit me.
But he grabbed my hips and told me I could do certain workouts to “fix” my inner thighs.
He told me it was all in my head when I hadn’t eaten in 12 hours.
He lied. He cheated. He gaslit me until I didn’t even trust my own reality.
Left me in the ER when I thought I was about to be taken in for emergency surgery because “ there was nothing he could do.”
No, he didn’t hit me.
But he made sure to hurt me in every other way possible-
without ever leaving a mark.
- Jordan Murphy
Jordan's Story...
GET HELP & SUPPORT
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Talk to an adult you trust.
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Share what's happening anonymously on the Childline message boards.
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Talk to your doctor.
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Read letters from other young people on Ask Sam www.childline.org.uk/get-support/ask-sam/
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Talk to a Childline counsellor about anything www.childline.org.uk/get-support/